Thankful.

So this blog is going to be my way of thanking people. Some people I will name specifically, most I won’t. The only reason I won’t name some people is simply for the fact that there are so many of them that have just given me advice and positive words that I don’t want to forget anyone. But know that if you’ve done ANYTHING this year to try to raise me my spirits or tell me to not give up hope, or anything, know that this is me thanking you, too.

This year has most definitely been an absolutely crazy one. I’m not going to recap it, because most of the people reading this already know my story. But it’s been a roller coaster. And what’s important is that through all of it, and mainly thanks to the wonder that is Facebook, people have been keeping in touch with me constantly telling me to keep my chin up and stay strong. They’ve told me that I’m strong enough to get through this and to not give up on everything I’ve wanted. They’ve believed in me so much, constantly telling me that I’m strong, that it made ME believe that I’m strong enough to get through this. There’s that saying, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” And I think that applies here. This year has been hell, but there really isn’t any other choice but to keep going. I never really understood why you would want to keep going through hell if you were, but now I get it. It’s because there isn’t any other option. You have to keep going in order to get out of it. But the thing is, you don’t necessarily have to keep letting it be hell. You can change your outlook on it. And I did. That was the blog prior to this one. This one is to thank the people who’ve helped get me there.

So many people have told me their stories, what they did to cope, how they got through it. So many military wives and girlfriends that I know have dealt with their husbands/boyfriends pushing them away, and it’s because of them that I was able to hold on. They had their happy endings. I know not everyone does, but simply because they did have their happy endings, I believed that I could too. So I didn’t give up. And I’m happy I didn’t. I’m not close to being done with this, but I’m on the right track to have my happy ending. I just have to stick it out this year. And with the help of so many beautiful and strong women I have in my life, I know that I can do it. So many people kept telling me to be strong, that now I’m returning the favor. I know a few people who are now going through the first part of the deployment – the part where they actually leave, that’s the hardest. And I’m not saying I’m an expert at it, because I’m still going through it, but I know that thanks to technology, it’s more possible now than it was before to have our guys contact us more often while they’re in transit to where they’re going. And that alone helps. There are so many of us dealing with the deployment right now, that we’ve more or less formed a circle of help. Anytime someone is feeling down about it, there’s someone there (or maybe even more than one person) offering advice and telling them if they need to talk, they’re there. I know I’ve done it more than once. And I’ve had an amazing amount of people do it for me. And I’m so utterly grateful for it. I couldn’t even put into words how much the people who’ve been there for me lately mean to me.

But like I said, I’m not naming everyone, simply because I don’t want to leave anyone out. So, if you’ve helped me out, listened to me complain, shared your story with me, or just offered your ear for me if I do need to talk, THANK YOU. I can’t even put into words how much it means to me that you care enough to help me out, to be there for me. Most of you I don’t ever see, or even talk to on a regular basis, but when I needed advice, you were there. Know that if you ever need someone, I’m there for you too.

However, there were a few people I do want to name, simply because they went above and beyond what any other friend has done.



Cassie Walter.

My best friend, my sister. I’ve known her since 7th grade, and she continues to be an amazing friend. I know she’ll always be there for me. I can count on her no matter what. She’s always there when I need to complain, no matter what I’m complaining about. She always says what I need to hear, which more often than not, is really what I need. She’s about to do the whole deployment thing with her boyfriend, and I know that she knows I’m here for her too. Cassie, your thank you section of here isn’t as long as the others, but that’s because I tell you thank you all the time. You know how much you mean to me. You know I count on you more than anyone else, because you are my sister. I love you more than I could ever truly put into words. My phone is always on for you, especially since you’re going through the deployment here soon too. Together, we’ll get through this. I love you sister :)

Lauren Wilfer.

We actually didn’t talk much after graduation, but this semester, she really came back into my life. And I’m so thankful that she did. She came out to visit me when no one else could, and I couldn’t be more happy that she did. I’m so thankful that I have her in my life, and no matter what, she’s always there when I need someone to just remind me that this won’t last forever. Lauren, thank you for everything. I’m so glad I have you in my life, and I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOUR FACE IN AUGUST! :)

Kayleigh Paulin.

Before this semester, we didn’t really talk all that much. But we’ve formed an amazing friendship this semester, and I’m more thankful for it and for her than she could ever imagine. Even if we did mainly become friends because almost everyone else in our major are prudes. Haha :) But she’s been there for me. I wasn’t actually sure at first if she would be okay with me texting her to vent about this deployment and all the shit that was going on with Will when it wasn’t all peachy, but she didn’t care. She offered me amazing advice and reminded me that I’m strong enough to deal with it and that it would all get better eventually, I just had to make it there. I can’t even begin to thank her for how much she’s done for me this semester. And the day Will was set to leave, she truly stepped up as an amazing friend and did what I don’t think anyone else (except Will himself) would do – she took me to Little Caesar’s after class, which she knew is the one place that never fails to make me smile (because their Crazy Bread is amazingly delicious). I was so surprised that she was willing to do that…I hadn’t even thought of going there to cheer me up…I was just planning on going home and crying until I had to go to work. But she kept me distracted and took me somewhere she knew would cheer me up. It showed me that she really is a true friend, and that I can count on her when I need it. I’m so lucky to have met her. I’m sad because she’s leaving and moving to Maui this summer, but I’m going to make frequent trips to visit her. I need her positivity in my life. And her humor. She makes me laugh a lot. She keeps me distracted. Which, more often than not, is what I truly need. Kayleigh, I’m so glad I met you and that I can call you one of my good friends. You are an amazing, incredible, and seriously awesome person. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this semester. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.


Genileigh Erin Krystine Grey.

I can’t even begin how I should thank this woman. She’s amazing, incredible, and always there for me when I need her. She has absolutely gone beyond anything I could ever imagine for me. And what’s funny, is that she’s also been going through hell. I’m not about to put her story on here, because that isn’t my place to share it with anyone. But she’s been dealing with more shit than me, and none of it, absolutely NONE of it is deserved. She is the most kind-hearted, gentle, loving, and absolutely pure of soul person that I have ever met. I haven’t ever met anyone like her. I’ve texted her complaining about the bad stuff with Will multiple times, and she always told me to not give up hope. She knows how strong our love is, and that it can get through anything. And when things got better with us, she was happy for us. Truly happy. When Will left, I texted her venting about this war and this deployment and how none of it was fair. But really, I had no room to complain because I had Will back, and she’s still dealing with the shit that she doesn’t deserve. So I apologized, because I truly believed that I had no room to complain, since things were going better for me, where they weren’t for her. But what’s truly surprising, and completely astounding is that she told me I didn’t need to apologize…she wanted me to take her story and learn from it. To have faith in my love. Because even though hers isn’t going well, she still has faith in it. This is what she texted me after I freaked out over the deployment and then apologized for complaining:

“You can always complain to me. If anything I hope my situation gives you hope and faith. I don’t stop believing even when people think I should love. I just want my faith to rub off on others. If it gets me nowhere I want it to at least have helped another. I was scared my first deployment relationship. But you learn that everything you think you can’t do, you can do. And deployments really make you stronger and are for the ones who have real love. It weeds out the weak and strengthens the bond and creates a new chapter. It’s one of those things that make or break and it won’t break you. You’re just having normal anxiety. You’ve proven yourself wrong many times I’m sure and we all do. You can do ANYTHING you put your heart into.”

I wanted to share that text because I think it really shows how incredible of a person she is. She just wants her story to mean something to others…to get other people to have faith in what they have and to be grateful for the good things they have in life. She’s such an inspiration to me, and I’m so glad I have her in my life. No matter what, I know I can turn to her, and I don’t expect her to have all the answers for my problems…no one does, but I do know that she’ll have something positive to say. OR maybe she’ll end up venting right along with me. Either way, she backs me up. She’s always there to help me and she gets me back on track. She reminds me to stay positive. And every time I’ve talked to her since Will left, she’s reminded me that today is just one less day I have until I get to have him by my side again. I am so thankful to have her in my life. I truly can’t put into words how amazing she is, but to whoever reads this, if you know Genileigh, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, then just know that she is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. She has the most beautiful heart and soul I’ve ever seen. She’s actually beautiful in every way…she’s a gorgeous human being. But what’s important is that she’s an amazing friend…to anyone who needs one. And I’ve needed her more now than I ever have before. And I’m glad we got back in touch two years ago. I met her when I was 9… but we didn’t ever talk until two years ago, and now…I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. Genileigh, truly, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. For everything. I love you, soul sister. <3